Why self-coaching? Because when you need a coach the most, you're usually the only one around! Facts of life -
- No one will ever care more about your development than you!
- Most leadership development comes from on-the-job training
- Self-reliance is a primary source of confidence
Definition - "self-coaching" is a form of self help. It’s a process designed to keep you in the high performance mindset.
How the process works
- Grasp knowledge - there are specific learning strategies you can pursue on your own (we'll teach you these)
- Make game plans - you pre-program productive thoughts (beliefs and values) and behaviors into your habitual brain
- Take time outs - you use both planned and unplanned thinking breaks to slow down, take inventory and self coach
- Practice - during the time out, you focus on self awareness, self regulation & self mgmt.
- Evaluate & adjust - you self-assess, seek input, adjust goals and plan accordingly
Self-coaching requires a basic understanding of brain science. The brain has 3 modes of operation -
- Rational - interprets events using facts, logic and truth
- Emotional - interprets events using feelings and impressions
- Habitual - uses pre-programmed thoughts (beliefs & values) and behaviors
How the operating systems work together
- The rational and emotional modes assess what's happening to you
- The habitual mode stores your pre-programmed thoughts and behaviors
- These thoughts and behaviors can be rational or emotional
- The rational brain is slower, emotional brain is 5x faster and habitual brain 20x faster!
- When the sh*t's hitting the fan, your emotional and rational modes query your habitual brain for a response
COACHING POINT - your emotional brain is faster and can lead you astray. BUT, your habitual brain is the fastest. You can develop a mindset that uses the best of both your emotional and rational inputs!
Grasp knowledge (a.k.a. "Intentional Learning")
"Intentional learning" is the self-guided, goal-oriented, active pursuit of relevant and actionable knowledge.
COACHING POINT - This is a mindset that embraces and leverages informal learning opportunities available during the normal course of business.
You need to plan what thoughts and behaviors you want pre-programmed in your habitual brain. Thoughts include beliefs, values and expectations. Behaviors include habits and contingency plans.
COACHING POINT - This is not positive thinking! It's realistic thinking informed by your ongoing pursuit of knowledge and experience. Think of it as "mental toughness". Mental toughness is your ability to think clearly, rationally and unemotionally. Mental toughness is a skill that enables you to focus and get the best out of whatever abilities you currently posses.
From time to time you need to stop and think about what you're thinking.
COACHING POINT - These "time outs" should be part of your daily routines and should be called whenever your emotional brain makes you feel uncomfortable.
To know your emotional tendencies, you need time to reflect. For thoughts to become second nature, they need to be rehearsed. Good habits come from repeating good behaviors.
- Self awareness - who’s in control? My rational or emotional brain?
- Self regulation - who should I listen to? Rational or emotional?
- Self mgmt. - what do I want to program into my habitual brain?
Evaluate & adjust
You can't self-coach if you can't self assess. Self assessing is a skill that precedes goal setting and planning. The steps -
- Self assess
- Embrace feedback
- Set goals
- Make plans
REAL LIFE EXAMPLE - Managing up
- You become what you think
- You become what you focus on
- You are what you repeatedly do