HEADLINES  

• Feedback is a coaching tool 
• Standards are the foundation of feedback
• The purpose of negative feedback is to clarify room for improvement 
• People have to think the standards apply to them 

COACHING POINT - don't bother giving negative feedback if you're not prepared to coach. You're telling the employee they're failing and unwilling to help. When you use feedback as a coaching opportunity, you're telling the employee "I care about you". 

COMMON CHALLENGES  

1. Unclear standards - "I'm sorry I didn't know!" 
2. Buy-in - "I'm different...it doesn't apply to me!"
3. Defensiveness - "I'm doing the best I can"
4. Excuse making ("can't/because" thinking) - "I can't always be on time because my previous meetings run over."

BEST PRACTICES 

1. Be consistent - the employee becomes accustomed to feedback 
2. Preview feedback - 
3. Lead w/the standard - it gives the employee context
4. "Why" before "what" - it creates interest in what you have to say 
   
5. Encourage their feedback - the employee will share how you can help 
6. Keep it short - use simple, clear and unambiguous language 

THE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK MODEL

EXAMPLE 

• Standard - "You know we expect people to be on time for meetings." 
• Motivation - "As the manager, people follow your example."
• Your feedback - "I've noticed you running late for meetings."
• Their feedback - "I'm often coming from meetings that run late."
• Coaching - "I understand why you feel that way. I've felt the same way. Here's what I've found - when a meeting looks like it's running late, people tend to respect the next meeting. Try giving a "5-minute warning" to people that you're dropping off the meeting." 

COACHING POINT -  the "feel/felt/found" technique is an effective way to both empathize with the employee and share constructive coaching. 

COMMON MISTAKES

1. Infrequent feedback - people tend to over react to infrequent feedback 
2. Untimely feedback - the coaching opportunity goes cold 
3. Feedback sandwich - sandwiching your negative feedback between praise and compliments. Its waters down your valuable feedback and sends mixed messages. 
4. Over talking - to soften the blow people use more words than is necessary 
5. Sugar coating - to soften the blow you downplay the negative implications 
6. Email & text - too much gets lost in translation and you lose the chance to read non-verbal communication

COACHING POINT - Positive feedback takes skill, too.