- Feedback is a coaching tool
- Standards are the foundation of feedback
- The purpose of negative feedback is to clarify room for improvement
- People have to think the standards apply to them
COACHING POINT - don't bother giving negative feedback if you're not prepared to coach. You're telling the employee they're failing and unwilling to help. When you use feedback as a coaching opportunity, you're telling the employee "I care about you".
- Unclear standards - "I'm sorry I didn't know!"
- Buy-in - "I'm different...it doesn't apply to me!"
- Defensiveness - "I'm doing the best I can"
- Excuse making ("can't/because" thinking) - "I can't always be on time because my previous meetings run over."
- Be consistent - the employee becomes accustomed to feedback
- Preview feedback -
- Lead w/the standard - it gives the employee context
- "Why" before "what" - it creates interest in what you have to say
- Encourage their feedback - the employee will share how you can help
- Keep it short - use simple, clear and unambiguous language
THE NEGATIVE FEEDBACK MODEL
- Standard - "You know we expect people to be on time for meetings."
- Motivation - "As the manager, people follow your example."
- Your feedback - "I've noticed you running late for meetings."
- Their feedback - "I'm often coming from meetings that run late."
- Coaching - "I understand why you feel that way. I've felt the same way. Here's what I've found - when a meeting looks like it's running late, people tend to respect the next meeting. Try giving a "5-minute warning" to people that you're dropping off the meeting."
COACHING POINT - the "feel/felt/found" technique is an effective way to both empathize with the employee and share constructive coaching.
- Infrequent feedback - people tend to over react to infrequent feedback
- Untimely feedback - the coaching opportunity goes cold
- Feedback sandwich - sandwiching your negative feedback between praise and compliments. Its waters down your valuable feedback and sends mixed messages.
- Over talking - to soften the blow people use more words than is necessary
- Sugar coating - to soften the blow you downplay the negative implications
- Email & text - too much gets lost in translation and you lose the chance to read non-verbal communication
COACHING POINT - Positive feedback takes skill, too.