"Resiliency isn't just a personal construct, it's an interpersonal construct too. You're a leader, so you need resiliency in yourself, your employees, your team and your relationships.
Now think about it...
- People have setbacks,
- Teams have setbacks, and
- Relationships have setbacks.
Resiliency is vital to your personal well-being, employee engagement and team performance. But it's the glue that binds relationships.
You have relationships with your boss, co-workers and employees. They can be cross-functional or ad hoc. You may have relationships with vendors, partners, contractors, or consultants. And these relationships are going to impact your reputation, performance, and advancement potential.
But here's the challenge...
You're going to have important relationships that face setbacks. And the person you're in that relationship with may not have the growth mindset or the grit reflex; and everything you've worked so hard to develop in yourself may be missing in them. But you got to make it work.
So what do you do?
Here's the key: Early in your relationship, you've got to set some ground rules. You've got to anticipate setbacks that are going to threaten your relationship dynamics.
And you can do it by asking one simple question:
'How are we going to handle the tough times?'
- Every relationship is going to have disappointment, disagreements, debates and doubt.
- There's going to be ulterior motives, competing agendas, and differing opinions.
- And relationships always face uncertainty, stress and scrutiny.
- Healthy relationships need empathy, compromise, and trust when none of these are coming easy.
That's why you've got to ask, 'How are we going to handle the tough times?'
- Healthy relationships are built on shared values and shared interests.
- They need mutual understanding and accountability.
When times are good, relationships are easy. But when times are tough, relationships get put to the test. When you plan for the tough times up front, you're preparing for the inevitable. You're not being negative, you're being realistic. And you're investing in the relationship upfront.
So, when the relationship gets tested, you're ready. You've made some agreements upfront, and those agreements enable the mutual understanding and accountability you're going to need.
Everyone wants to make a good first impression. But when it comes to relationships, the lasting impressions matter the most. And the lasting impressions are made in tough times. So make the investment upfront. Ask, 'How are we going to handle the tough times?' And that's going to help you build a foundation that's going to last."
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